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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Cheating in a relationship can be emotionally based and not about the ‘ugly-duck’ your partner is cheating with

Use the alone time as couples wisely

An affectionate relationship is a two way obsession, excluding that in today’s relationship(s) you experience some blunders and absurdities.  All these are done to people and don’t ever think you’re better, your partner does not bamboozle, s/he never been shagged outside a club or in the toilets. Everyone have their moments of getting sloshed and screwed and trust me a new sex is always nice, imagine when you steal condensed milk – will you enjoy it if you were forced to eat the whole tin?

You need to carefully scrutinize what s/he is up to – after you left them for a good year to pursue your studies and only to find out your partner is a porn addict, all saved in their mobile phone. The above mentioned can cause your partner or pair to cheat on you big time, it is partly wrapped in bad tendencies thus you must watch out for all the symptoms. Some people have warm blankets to keep him or her wrapped up with a hot cup of sex while you’re studying or also wrapped up in University blankets by someone’s partner.

Watching porn and going through nude pictures while your partner is not present, well, you get thrills watching others perform sex and you start to think about going outside to win a one night stand, now remember, you’re faced with the risk of all sorts of diseases. Does watching porn make you visualise that your partner is with you? Sounds very odd, but your thrills come from watching and fantasizing about it more than having faith in your relationship.

Another major element or rather problem that causes cheating in a relationship is when we don't get what we expected to get, which can be materialistic things, money, love and or not limited to sex. We mostly get into relationships for our own ends and that’s unfair to the other person, because you’ll end up cheating. So make sure you’re clear of each other’s intentions from the beginning. Take time to know each-other and don’t let s/he rush you into bed, sex might keep or drive the other person away – there’s a myth that sex makes the love relationship tough.

Yes you’re frustrated because the one you thought was yours dumped you like a hot potato, honestly, grow up and take a step forward because you’re not and never will be the first one to be cheated, ahead the road is not like walking in a bread spread. As I mentioned above make your intentions crystal clear, whether the problem is emotional or physical we should not really mind about that but address the issue at hand from its genesis to a solution, whether the solution will be for the best or “Let’s break up”.

It is very hard to make sure your relationship stays healthy and blunders like cheating do not creep in easily. Should you be in a situation to cheat, well, address the positive things that your significant one gives you – this means allowing your best ever first kiss, the day your gifted organs met, how was it? How long have your partner been there for you? Is this hang and shag me going to make you happy? Should the above questions come to your mind, then I don’t see the reason for you to cheat.

Another thing I came across and hate it with a passion, is the suspicion that one of us is cheating. Suspicion can drive the other person to actually do the things you keep on plastering on them. So some of us get surprised when we find out that our partners are cheating with people who look less handsome or beautiful than us, but be alert 'sometimes' cheating is emotionally based and not about the looks.

So the best way to stop infidelity is to stop it before it happens. So you need pro-active ways to stop your partner from cheating. As you read this column I am sure you have picked up communication is the master of all. Spice up your sex life and stop acting like a horse while your partner wants to explore new things. Pay attention to each other as needed in any relationship and avoid people who always bring back your partner’s past sex life and cheating troubles – this is a new relationship so focus on that now.

Your partner might just cheat to spite the hell out of your miserable thoughts and suspicions about them. All of us went through the misery of cheating and being cheated, so don’t act all suspicious as if you’re the holly one. Sometimes acting as if you don’t care while you suspect your partner is cheating and they know you’re suspecting them, there are great chances that it will drive them to the rim. They will think you don’t care, while you’re suppressing your feelings and a great chance to address the issue at hand. So I would not advice anyone to practice the afore-mentioned.

Don’t allow things to depreciate as this may cause a great or irreparable harm to your relationship. As I conclude, those who cheat are the first ones to be arrogant when they find out their partner is cheating.

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By Buchule Raba / leave your comments for us below the comment box or send them via email to

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