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Monday, November 28, 2011

What can Real Goboza teach us about ourselves?

Do you watch Real Goboza? “Yoooooh geez”, you are thinking, “I love that show. I simple can’t get enough of all the celebrity gossip, Phat Joe’s big lips, Brenda Ngxoli’s firm Xhosa (rumours at it replaced by the hardcore Somizi Mhlongo), good and stupid South African celebrities, what happened to once “no manners” Kuli Roberts, oh Headline happened to her, oh geez what has she done this time? Nonhle Thema… and oh yeah Brenda Ngxoli has been flushed and replaced by the drama queen Somizi (Rumours are at, it was according to the producers difficult to work with Ngxoli…)” Yeah, except that I am not talking about the wonderfully captivating Headline show. I am talking about its SABC 1 rival show Real Goboza, just a show on topical issues uncovering the unknown about SA celebrities, where for now Phat blows the whistle overlooking his own gossip and garbage. It’s a lovely show which gives you gossip and entertainment at the same time, of course who did not know gossip on its own right is entertainment.

Don’t get me wrong, RGB may not offer the same raw and nude pleasure that Headline does, but it’s fun in a different and unique way, it allows you to sit back and lazily judge the South African Celebrities and their bedroom affairs. Each episode offers and coughs a delightful chance to be updated about celebrity lifestyle and gossip based mostly on facts as they capture these stories on visuals, unlike the girl next-door who gossips to get a plate of food. Part of the thrill of the show is watching how the presenters blend and pass the ball within each other; unlike other SA presenters whom we all know have no order of presenting live or even pre-recorded TV shows. It’s even more enjoyable when Joe play around with his big and sexy lips, I miss the moments when they used to do Brenda’s make up bad. Only to make it look good after a few tweets. I wonder how they will cope with Somizi’s already painted face…

It’s not like South African celebrities are awful or particularly bloody annoying like Nonhle Thema and Khanyi Mbau. In fact, most of them seem like totally decent, reasonable, and likable like the Bala Brothers, Bonang Matheba and S’khululo Maliwa (Lulo Café). After watching few episodes, oh no, why would I care about my own gossip and poor grapevine at work, streets and in public transports? Why would I care about the aforesaid while RGB is offering me the best celebrity gossip and nonsense? You start to find out that some of these well-known are doing things that are plain ridiculous. And it turns out that these things are so damn irritating because they hit on bad examples that as we talk are destroying the kids of our country and most importantly ruining the emotions of a kid who once saw a role model in Nonhle Thema.

I personally love the show, and yes for a fact that I can differentiate between gossip, opinion and facts. Nor that they can’t, please don’t get me twisted like lemon twist. It’s really not the worst or waste of your pleasure time to watch the show. After all, they call it Real Goboza for a reason! That you are supposed to interact with them via email and or not limited to twitter and Facebook, they make your gossip collecting life an easier one. They can alert you if a certain celebrity did junk and wet on their bed as well what went on at the party hosted by some clever-stupid celebrities at Hush Club Rosebank Johannesburg. The way they bring celebrity gossip is like they can tell the Police that they saw you killing that old wrinkled woman next-door with a walking stick, but can’t get enough hitting it with young boys at the neighbourhood.

Well. So there you have it. If you were to believe RGB, South African celebrities are pretty much whacking jobs and to such an extent can’t even maintain a long lasting career and a fat bank account like overseas celebrities. We are a nation of people who are about loving each other in theory, who always blame the history of our country, who do not wanna support and live near each other in times of trial. Who cares if a celebrity is successful? Oh, everyone all of a sudden now cares because there are speculations that Bonang and Minenhle don’t get pretty much along.

So why our celebrities are out of control when it comes to the fact that the pedestal we set them is too high and hot to handle? It could be we don’t give them support, but we are selfish and evil. Why can’t we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they mean well or they really need to go to rehab and get some wholesome help, of course those who can admit that they are/were in drugs like Ishmael who once sang “Avulekile Amasango Ezulu”, only to find out he almost used that opportunity to himself by using drugs. After all, they each have the best intentions for their own families; it’s just when you add up all their individual decision that things go to shit. Either way, it doesn’t really matter. They are who they are; we are who we are, so how do we get things that are messy right?

I am not so damn sure, but I think if we start watching RGB less as entertainment and more as a kind of cautionary tale about what not to do, maybe we’ll all be smarter before we put boring judgements on other people. We must let RGB teach us to know how different a fact from a stupid unfounded opinion about someone and learn to live with good gossip (if there’s ever any good gossip).   If all fails, at least we’ll know what happened and start to seek professional help to assist that particular celebrity without embracing their downfall as if we got a job in the Fourth Estate (Parliament) and we only care about messing around with state funds. Now I support the fact that Parliament must move to Pretoria to cut travelling costs…

Ma-Brrr uhambe kabi sisi wam… Hay’ kabi awuthi ngiphuze ijuba!

Column/Review/Commentary/Opinion by Buchule Raba (Socialist) / leave your comments for me below the comment box or send them via email to, Click here to follow me on twitter or add me on Facebook here

Gonzo Journalism was coined by Hunter S. Thompson. In Gonzo writing you tell it as it is, e.g. if your president sucks, well, s/he sucks plain out…

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