Professor Malema the Comedian

By Thami ka Plaatjie

Social media is a vital toll of communication yet it can be very intrusive and untimely. Attending a World Skills Conference in Abu Dhabi on Wednesday where 54 countries took part in various skills  competitions, one was rudely interrupted by a torrent of messages about the happenings in the home front. The tremors were felt far afield.

One such a message came from a friend,Treavor Moloto who sent me a video clip of what seemed like an interview that Julius Malema was addressing. The video is incomplete and the part deals with his statement that relates to the ANC 's presidential candidate, Minister Lindiwe Sisulu. I suspect that was not the reason for the press conference but is symptomatic of what has become a trend in EFF press conferences, i.e. delirious digression.

Every person who grew in the township will attest to an age old practice of "ukubhloma"loosely translated as hanging out. This is a practice where mostly boys would congregate in a street corner or at their favorite hangout spot and engage in a number of idle chats. Anything under the sun is subjected to this idle chit-chat. Malema's press conferences have taken the nature of bhloming sessions that inevitably take comical turns.

In that video Julius Malema seats in a pristine position of influence like a disqualified Bhudist monk issuing all types of snippets of what he regards as wise counsel. In fact, he looks more like an exiled despot in some hidden forest issuing threats of doom. He broadcast unsolicited advise and criticism to the ANC and its presidential candidates. His voice is hurting and he struggles holding back his emotions as he plods hastily and haphazardly while shooting aimlessly with rage.

He blasts, "What is Sis Lindiwe's ideas except that she is a child of Walter Sisulu." Wow, the recently  qualified Honours graduate has become an instant professor of political science. He holds the yardstick of what pass out as ideology. In fact, what is his ideology, I venture to ask? He must state his first and then solicit the ideologies of others.

"She has some sense of entitlement", he bemoans.  Entitled to what  and what evidence can he proffer in that regard? He sinks deeper in a maze of self adulation and pontification."The Sisulus think that we owe them something." I am not sure who is the we in this regard. Is it the ANC we or the EFF we or the general public we? The use of the royal plural is misplaced and inconsequential.

Malema speaks like an ANC member who feels duty bound to defend his organization. His nostalgia is evident. He sometimes thinks that he is still an ANC member. He is getting hot under the armpit and emits films of foam with irritation.

The Honours graduate fumes with the instant  rage of a frog thus." they are in permanent competition the Sisulu's , the Mandela and the Tambo's." In competition for what and against who? His wide statements are empty, insipid and shallow. The Mandela's don't aspire for any leadership position that I know, the same applies to the Tambo's.

At the height of his delirious  conduct he makes what must be seen as a juvenile assertion. "Their father produced president's but was never a president himself , there must be a president from that family." Eish, which president or presidents did Walter Sisulu produce? Even the Bantu education syllabus will negate his assertion. That Walter introduced Mandela to politics does not amount to making him a president. This line of reasoning is treasonous.

Malema, the erstwhile cabbage farmer turned garbage collector roams the political streets looking for political scrap metal to recycle.

Since the departure of Travor Noah the South African comedy circuit  has been in want of new talent. Then cometh the man, cometh the hour, Julius Malema makes a perfect fit with his dexterity and intrigue.  It was William Blake who wrote that, " he who pretends to be either a painter or engraver without being a master of drawing is an imposter." It was the genius Pablo Picaso who stated thus , "the people who make art their business are mostly imposters." 

The young imposter is at large and must be restrained and repatriated to a safe place under supervision. Malema should know better that any leader derives his/ her ideology from the organization to which they belong. It was Elias "kid Mangemanga" Ntloadibe who chastise members in a public meeting that if there is a person who does not aspire to lead his organization one day, then that person is not fit to belong to that organization. If a Lindiwe Sisulu feels that she can lead the ANC, how is that Malema's business. If Nkosazana Zuma feels too that she can lead the ANC why should Malema's eyeballs be swollen by that?

In fact Malema suffers from exaggerated ego such that recently he told one of his press conference bhloming sessions that the ANC would be better served if it can be led by Kgalema Mothlanthe. Just imagine the audacity and the nerve!! The khumbulekhaya episodes  must be prescribed for him. In Xhosa we say Molo fish, uphumenini  ethinini.

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