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Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Second GoXtra News South African Government Music Awards 2012

It’s that time of the year once again where we bring you the South African Government music awards. Seems like our political leaders do not comprehend the concept of YOLO – here’s the concept, “it’s not going to spend tax payer’s money, complain about state credit cards, go drink, and make an ass of yourself in public. It’s going out to deliver services to the community, lead your followers with dignity, and do something that matters.”


Now let’s see who takes what this year and our categories are: Song of the year, most downloaded single of the year, Best Controversial Album, Best Dance Album, Best compilation, Best rap album, Best Celebrated Song of the year, Best Contemporary Faith Music album, Best of ALL Times, Poor Song of the year, Unfair song of the year, Dumb song of the year, and finally the Educational song of the year.

Me? You can't blame me!
Now let’s get on to the real deal, song of the year goes to Angie Motshekga (Basic Education Minister) and her department for failing to deliver text books to the Limpompo children. For failing children their constitutional write to have  an education. Imagine if she was the minister of education in the whole country, everything would be just a flop – thanks God she was given a potion that she managed to fail too. Seems like she sees FAIL as First Action In Learning! They only want their children to be educated and lead this country to their pockets.

How can you blame her? It's not her portfolio!

Most downloaded single of the year goes to Julius Malema for being kicked out of the African National Congress. We chose Juju because he’s one brave leader who managed to remind people what our former first black president was supposedly negotiated, economic freedom. Juju, for bravely telling BBC Africa that his career or rather political career within the ANC is not over. He mobilized President Zuma and supported him during his sorrows, trials and tribulations – and then President Zuma kicked him in the butt, “Out Julius foolish fool!” Respect Malema.

Bathong! How can comrade Jacob set fire to my political career like this?

My Political Career is not over yet! Juju the return like Yizo Yizo the return!

The BIG Question?

Best Controversial Album of the year goes to the African National Congress for failing to deliver its promises to the people, instead delivered gibberish. For allowing people to vote for an impossible change, for bringing change all these years and when suppose to take blame for their flops, well, the apartheid card comes up again – they will compare the then damage and their years of office and see change as a dream. Thanks to them for making sure change takes place within their families and loved ones. Thanks to their government that we know a leader does not stay behind bars regardless the criminal offence committed.

Best Dance Album of the year goes to Democratic Alliance leader Helen Zille for mobilizing blacks using their own language for election campaigns. For being the biggest fan of Orlando Pirates with the snap of the finger. Once again we thank Helen for trying the National Prosecuting Authority (NPA) to help dig old wounds – hello it’s the NPA which means government controlled at the end of the day. She once asked President Zuma to deploy the army to gang ridden areas of the Western Cape, but she was accused of politicizing the issue. Why, because the ANC is giving a ‘fool’ a rope to hang herself? Or is it because they have a mission for her to fail the province and blame her while taking over? Those are just rhetorical questions – they don’t need an answer from us.

Best Compilation of the year goes to President Jacob Zuma for kicking inexperienced Bheki Cele’s butt out of the South African Police force and hiring his own puppet, Mangwashi Phiyega (New SA Police Chief) another inexperienced fault. We have people like Mzwandile Petros who’ve been serving the force for years and they are simply not given their ranks in the force. Obviously as the president the force must be behind you especially to Mangaung around the corner so whichever puppet you hire must suck your music.  I will not be a wise move to vote for President Zuma for the second term, NO, NO and NO! We need change, we need a president who has not only admitted to mistakes that he’s not willing to take a blame for. We applaud you MR President for making sure that every Mbeki wise is out and your puppets are in the South African government, we thank you Sir!

Best Rap Album of the year goes to Chief Mandla Mandela’s wife Nkosikazi Nobubele Mandela for cheating within the family, with his brother LOL! There were speculations that their marriage had ended amid blazing rows, it was fire igniting when the Chief found out his wife was enjoying a cock in the family. The Chief or rather the respected released a statement, "The Mandela family has sent my wife Nkosikazi Nobubele Mandela back to her home after it was discovered she has been having an affair with one of my brothers," he said. "I confirm this affair resulted in a son that Nkosikazi Nobubele gave birth to in 2011." Tjo! Bathong as if cheating it’s a new thing? Sorry my Chief you’ll be strong.

Best Celebrated song of the year goes to President Zuma’s ex wife Nkosazana Clarice Dlamini-Zuma for showing her colleagues good leadership skills. Congratulations, she is the first woman to get elected as the  African Union Commission Chairwoman. Seems like she does not have any political grudges with none of our three presidents, she served under Nelson Mandela, Thabo Mbeki and her ex Jacob Zuma. This is wonderful because these presidents change their cabinets like underwears just to suit their political and personal needs.

The 'it' Woman of South Africa...

WAIT: They do not call me die hard for nothing!
Best Contemporary Faith Music album goes to the Department of Correctional Services and their Minister Sibusiso Ndebele (Since June 2012) for allowing the Gospel to take place by giving a pardon to a sick man, Jackie Selebi. But anyway who’s the sick man? What was his role in the country? He was the then Police Chief who was accused and convicted of corruption. Nicely done, they also gave Schabir Shaik a pardon and now he’s a fish in the ocean swimming with the AK47’s.  It’s a norm that no political connected person will ever stay in jail/prison in this country, not while we are being led by alleged criminals who have heavy bags to carry secretly themselves.

Best of all time album of the year goes to Tokyo Sexwale for acting humble and using plain folks propaganda when handling all those who are questioning his job via the media. For making “sure” that no company gets a tender and not deliver up to standard services. For making sure that all companies getting tenders are partly owned by government members. We are happy for you Sir, you’ve done an outstanding job servicing your propaganda to the people of Southern Africa. Indeed, thank you Sir Tokyo.

Poor song of the year goes to President Jacob Zuma for failing to be encouraged by Sipho ‘Hotsticks’ Mabuse and go get his Grade 12. He showed him that even though I am 60 years old I managed to go to school and get my Grade 12 – though I was absent in class for a considerable three months, I still rise! To be honored by these institutions does not mean you’ve studied, go back to school time is still here. ABET is there for elderly people to study, hawu *Side eyes*!

Umshini wami! All the way to the second term in Office... If you don't agree you're going to be fired like Julius Malema.

Unfair /Dumb song of the year goes to the e-toll system, how can our government impose such apartheid on motorists? How can you be so blind and spend so much money knowing this e-toll what what is not gong to work in South Africa? How can you copy things that failed in major world countries? How can you stay in the dark when taking a decision? Who’s going to repay the taxpayer’s money you spent building these e-tolls? How can you even expect the same taxpayers to pay for the roads that they are already paying to construct? Huh? Why do you green (make a shame/ a laugh) us in the global arena? Why do you want other countries to see you as retards?  How can you e-toll us? Huh? How can you President Zuma and your dysfunctional administration? The money spent on these e-tolls should have simply helped the poor and perished kids in the rural areas of this country.

The Educational Song of the year goes to Sipho ‘Hotsticks’ Mabuse for showing the nation that even if you’re 60 years old it is so possible to get your Grade 12. For being a public icon who led by example, for being the desired role model for our kids. He showed us that whatever difficulties you might face during this time, well, there’s still time to improve and rise above the rest. Thank you Tata and we shall follow your footprints, well done and you’ve made us proud in the international arena. Thanks for not acting educated while you’re not. What you did was so encouraging and educating to many folks out there… Go to SCHOOL please!

He got his GRADE 12 at the "tender" age of 60...

It is always a pleasure to monitor our leaders and make sure we give them the spotlight they deserve. This ends our 2012 Government Music Awards and until next year keep your eyes and ears open. To us as a team it gave us a great moment of pleasure and laughter while compiling the awards and giving all the relevant people something worthy to think about and take home.
We thank you and Salute you South Africa.

©The awards are compiled by the GoXtra News team and our readers, therefore the views expressed above do not in any way represent the brand (GoXtra News. For editorial or 

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