Do’s and Don’ts for all the Ben10s' out there!

A friend of mine (Dolly is a 38 year old career orientated , successful woman and a mother of 2) who has had her fair share in the dating field and has been single for a long time till now, decided to return to the scene “nothing serious” she said.  Dolly met this amazing guy that she couldn’t stop raving about to all of us, though things were still a bit casual between them it seems like he was kinda doing things right (that’s the impression I got).  

It turns out the new guy was 12 years younger than my dear friend, so that made him “Dolly’s Ben10”. The term “Ben10” is associated with all these young guys dating older women (one can’t ignore the current rise of this trend where older women indulge in younger guys, it’s the in thing among most single older women), the name is borrowed from a popular Disney Cartoon character “Ben” who uses a special watch device to turn into 10 different personalities, Ben is your typical “Package/facility Guy” and uses his powers to fight evil. 

As Dolly and her new guy were still getting to know each other; she picked up some of the admirable, decent and unacceptable characters of her new Ben10. Young as he was; he possessed good communication skills, a real gentleman and a good sense of humour. Along my conversation with Dolly, I picked the following - Do’s and Don’ts” advice points to all the Ben10s out there:

• She mentioned being charmed from the onset; he was damn endearing, with a smile of an angel, the aroma of his cologne was just too divine. He appeared immaculate and so on point from head to toe (bald and a clean facial shave)... Keep a clean look, presentable, manly and neat!! NO s-curl and cut, silly body piercings, untidy tattoos and shiny/plastic shoes from downtown markets.

• A well-toned physique and psychologically developed:   as hot as you look “biceps and all” please make sure you come up with thought-provoking conversations (be in the know of what is happening around world) for heaven sake you’ve all the time in the world to surf the net, though you must be careful not sound too knowledgeable and loudmouth. We don’t want you to sound like one of those politician want to-be who always say “chief, my chief” in every sentence. That’s a turn off... Talk “Destiny and Forbes Magazine” issues.

• Refrain from using social network (Mxit) lingo “WUD, HUD LIB” and silly ghetto terms. You’re dealing with a matured woman here, be the man and sound like one.

• There was this gigantic glow on Dolly’s face as she started telling me about their first night of action, she summed it up as “supernatural and memorable”. He was wearing white Calvin Klein underwear that seemed like it was designed only for him, a bold and clean body. He touched her like she has never been touched and made her talk in foreign tongues. He was a tiger on the loose.  Oh yes, he did it right (she concluded).

• Dolly’s Ben10 now and then mentioned his business proposals, meetings, deadlines, interviews and business partners’ blah blah. Funny enough he never really came up with a tangible story regarding his career, well that’s because it didn’t exist but he knew how to play with his tongue. You’d swear he was a business guru in the making.

• Since your life is constructed on acting and lies, act all allergic towards younger ladies and mean every word you utter (at least convince her). The emphasis should be on how wonderful and vibrant older women are. Experienced, matured and stable!

• With her approval, try being welcoming to her acquaintances but make sure you know where/when to draw the line. Keep a distance and avoid being everyone’s toy. Remember, too nice can be so mind-numbing.  Remain a mystery to most of her peers.

• We all know that most if not all women value a man who listens. Be that attentive listener she’s been searching for all these years. Even if it means making notes, do it.  Ask her about her current projects, reports and so forth. Act all interested in her job or career and life in general.

• Take a chill pill and avoid being too forward; no talks of a future with her, kids and marriage. The honest truth here is, you’re her sex toy/dildo (the only difference is that you have an advantage of holding her at night), know your “key performance areas” and excel at that…

• Have a good taste in music: I’m talking classics and that matured RNB (Luther Vandross, the Commodores, Teddy Pendergrass, Percy Sledge, Michael Bolton, Whitney Houston etc.) No Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus or even worse those hip-hop songs that talks about “pussy, motherfucker” etc. Just bear in mind that she has long passed that stage of listening to such music, she finds it tacky and insulting. Dolly mentioned that her Ben10’s ringtone is so childish and annoying; it gave me an impression of some lousy hip-hop song dissing women. Boys, that’s a NO!  
• Decent Public Behaviour: always monitor your actions whenever you’re together with her in public. Thou shall not be seen dancing in public like there is no tomorrow.

• Take note of the little changes: be it her makeup, hairstyle, nails, moods etc. Yes, you’re her sex toy but she might just need a little esteem uplift (if needs be, play that Dr Phil role).

• Converse psychology:  use the same allowance you get from her and spoil her with gifts, romantic dinners.

• Twistingly influence her tastes and decisions: if she has never been to a night club, then take her to a decent club and dance the night away…. Show her the lighter side of life. “FUN” is the core of your performance area. 

• Take her out on some thrilling driving adventures but avoid being too ghetto or emulating a taxi driver from downtown Johannesburg; be her Michael Schumacher inside and outside the bedroom. Bring some razzmatazz in her life. 

• Act a bit jealous: once in a while when you see her interacting with strange men, throw in a bit of that green-eyed line but don’t start acting like a useless househusband. Keep it casual and make her feel appreciated.                        

• Every sexual encounter with her must be fruitful and magical; it’s your duty to spice things up with new and exciting bedroom positions. Be spontaneous with killer moves and leave her begging for more. Have her all wrapped around your dildo with no chance of letting go!! Be the Boss, the Real Deal! The Best gigolo ever!

Boys, that’s my advice and if however you want to go down history as the Best Ben10 ever… But then if you fail at this you can still type a CV and get yourself a daytime job.

By: Tsipa

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